Last night was a bit of a difficult night for The Brand, because all of his peers and fellow Crafters were in KA celebrating “The Biz” and The Craft at The Kodak Center, and as I told one of The Entourage, “I should be there supporting all of my friends and peers, but I am not going until Arthur Kade has earned the right to be there and stand at that podium”, so instead of watching the award ceremony, I decided to take my mini-depression out to Rouge with friends and think about my future Oscar speech, what I will wear in front of the world when I collect my first of many “Lil’ Oscars”, and the fab speech that Arthur Kade will deliver (I practice it all the time in the car while driving, and it will bring the Gen Pop to tears when I thank my grandmother in Russian) and the Congratulations that The Brand will receive from Bobby DeNiro, Danny Day Lewis, Jen Aniston, Gerry Butler, Eddie Murphy, Annie Hathaway, and Meryl Streep (I was telling a friend last night, “I wonder If I should have the presenter announce me as “Arthur Kade” or as “The Brand”), and after we were done there (The Entourage and Gen Poppers made me feel so much better about everything because they reminded me that with a Hit TV Show and NY Times Bestseller on the way, and crazy Balls Ass meetings, parties (Thursday night, Arthur Kade will be in attendance at a private Book Release Party in NYC for a well known Media Personality, and she told me, “The Who’s Who of New York will be there like celebrities, producers, actors, club owners, and socialites, so for anyone who doesn’t know you, it will be awesome”), and auditions (I will also be getting fitted for my armor for the “Warrior Role” in a feature film that I will be filming in early April that was delayed from January because of the weather) in NYC this week, “The Journey” is light years ahead of what anyone has ever dreamed) , I went home with a girl to have some fun, and came home this morning, and had an email from a Kade Nation Fan that said, “You have to check out this website, ChatRoulette.com” (This is a website where you jump on and are directed to random Gen Poppers around the world who are also on the site, and since I am now a Global M.I.M. ((Mogul In The Making)) and celebrity, The Brand thought it would be cool to say hello to “International Kade Nation”), so I jumped on the site, and here are the hilarious results and the Link To The GawKade (Gawker.com which is Arthur Kade’s Personal International Celebrity Tabloid At this point) article covering the controversial and groundbreaking Documentary that the University Of Pennsylvania did on The Brand which will be discussed by the Gen Pop for years to come:
http://gawker.com/5488298/dude-wont-give-arthur-kade-a-high-five
Top Moments From The Weekend:
1) Meeting a reporter from US Weekly who when I met her, The Brand said, “My name is Arthur”, and she smiled and said, “Ohhh, I know who you are”, and I responded, “I am not sure if that is a good or bad response”, but I could tell that she was totally blown away meeting The Brand in person as everyone else is, and I joked with one of The Entourage, “It’s one thing to watch porn on TV, but when you actually get to experience a REAL porn star, it’s a million times more exciting, and that’s what I would compare meeting me to because people read the blog, but then they see how dynamic, good looking, charming, and BIG I am in real life and go nuts”.
2) Meeting “The Lebron James Of Japan” who’s name I can’t remember because he is a MMA fighter who is as big over there as A-Rod Or Lebron are here (He couldn’t speak English so he had a full time interpreter with him who absolutely loved when The Brand said, “I have a Hit TV Show Coming Out, and am going to be HUGE in Japan as well, so let’s exchange info so we can party in Tokyo with some hot Geishas when I make appearances over there), and he couldn’t have been nicer, and we even filmed a vid of him showing me some “Kade Style” wrestling maneuvers that I could use to get over zealous fans away if they stalk or attack me, but the vid came out to dark so I am not posting it. We also met Dante’ Rivera who is another high level MMA fighter, and for guys that can totally destroy anyone of us with one punch or kick, they all couldn’t have been sweeter.
3) The Girl that I went home with on Friday after Recess told me when we were already naked in her house, “I hate sharing the bed with someone else, and I get up early like 7AM, so you will need to leave then”, and I laughed and said, “Good luck getting me out of the house at 7AM”, but sure enough, she woke The Brand up at 6:45AM and asked me to leave, and when I said, “Are you serious? I am still drunk and can’t move”, she responded, “I hate having people in my bed so yes I am serious”, so Arthur Kade got dressed and went home. I told one of The Entourage, “I guess I didn’t do a good enough job with her”.
4) At Brunch at Rouge yesterday, there were 7 girls at one point that I have had some type of sexual interaction with, and I looked at one friend and said, “There are 7 girls I have hooked up with here, and several I have fucked, and I think it would be funny to create an Arthur Kade calculator every time we go out in Philly to see where the highest percentage of girls commiserate that have experienced me” (The funniest thing to see is the multiple situations in which these girls actually are talking to each other at Rouge throughout the day and either do not realize that they have Arthur Kade in common, or are comparing notes on how I “Kaded” them) , and he laughed and said, “You are such a slut, it would be funny to count that”, and I said ” Are you kidding me. I’m Arthur Kade and I am not a slut. Girls just want me to be with me and my penis. Am I supposed to say No to them?”.
5) Eating at my “Fave” restaurant in Philadelphia, Buddakan, where the meal was absolutely Fab. The entourage decided that we were going to take a Celebrity friend from NYC there at 7PM on Saturday while brunching at Rouge to celebrate her new book release, so when one of the guys called the restaurant for a reservation for 4, they said they had nothing before 10:30, so then I pulled out The Kadeberry and made a quick call as any celeb would do, and we had 9pm reservations waiting for us. It’s great being the “Face Of Philadelphia”, but also one of the “Future Biggest Names in “”The Biz”"”, because Arthur Kade is catered to like the King Of England in Philadelphia.
“You aren’t a celebrity when you get preferential treatment. You are a celebrity when the celebrities give you preferential treatment, and want you to sleep with their wives or girlfriends”…Arthur Kade…03/08/10
“Good luck getting me out of the house at 7AM”, but sure enough, she woke The Brand up at 6:45AM and asked me to leave, and when I said, “Are you serious? I am still drunk and can’t move”, she responded, “I hate having people in my bed so yes I am serious”
ARTHUR!
Do you not realize that some chicks have a life, don’t want you around for pancakes or matzo and/or having the issue of removing fleas from her bed that you so kindly brought in? Get a cloo joo!
>”I joked with one of The Entourage, “It’s one thing to watch porn on TV, but when you actually get to experience a REAL porn star, it’s a million times more exciting”
Though as an ‘actor’ you are only qualified for porn, your tiny dingle would disqualify you.
>”The Girl that I went home with on Friday after Recess told me when we were already naked in her house, “I hate sharing the bed with someone else, and I get up early like 7AM, so you will need to leave then”
How much did she cost? You must have blown your monthly allowance paying for the sleep over as that is not normally part of the deal.
>”I think it would be funny to create an Arthur Kade calculator every time we go out in Philly to see where the highest percentage of girls commiserate that have experienced me”
Commiserate is right. They have whotchacall “pity parties”. I hope it made them realize that drinking too much is a really bad idea, and also to never let a drink out of your sight. *I* think it would be funny if one of them had the balls to turn you into the police.
>”he laughed and said, “You are such a slut, it would be funny to count that””
Hysterical because I have come to doubt you have ever had sex with a woman for reasons like the next sentence…
>”Eating at my “Fave” restaurant in Philadelphia, Buddakan, where the meal was absolutely Fab.”
great, so now I have sum crumb ripping my shit off.
is that you Artie? you and your crones are masters at imytation.
??? ?… ? ????? ?????? ?????????. ????, ?????, ???????? ? ?????? ????????, ??? ??? ?? ???????????.
So I had a thought. Does anyone see a striking resemblance between Arthur and Lindsay Lohan? Not in a way that he’s a 5′5 smurfette (becasue he’s a 6′1 goon), but more in a sense that they’e both sloppy, stupid, and wear bad hats.
Oh yeah, and they both love their 3rd generation blackberry’s.
2 dudes talking to another with one referring to the other as a “slut” is fucking gay
seriously, I’ve never hung out with my bros and giggled about us being “sluts”
Looks like I’m beating you at your own game, jizzer… move on to the next poster. The region isn’t so great, come to think of it. I come here to talk to Arthur Kade, so why your fascination with me? Is your meatus starting to fart yet? Is the new layout of the wig making you feel like you’re on a 12 year old’s Myspace page? What in holy hell would it matter to YOU what I do, where I go or what I say? I’m here for the fling-fest at Arthur… have you no friends? Shame. Here I sit at *bux on Barrington with my twin King Charles Spaniels making ‘friends’ left and right… it’s quite simple, really. Get yourself a furry friend, jizzer.
Arthur! Why must you continue to be such a honkin’ creep? Stop shortening people’s names… some of these folks revere themselves in a light you would NOT believe. I’ve seen Matthew go from hot-babe Matthew to borderline homicidal when some idiot called him Matt. But be my guest… it doesn’t matter anyway.
Mister the Wall,
I agree with you sir.
@the wall,
Only classless bitches and giggling queens call eachother sluts. Period.
@anyone?
Poor little Lindz is trying her best to find her way. Like Arthur, she doesn’t have good role models. She’ll come back, she is nursing a broken heart, but at least she has her skills. She is too valuable to let slip away… valuable meaning $$$$$$. Unlike Arthur, she will be fine.
@In The Biz-
Oooohhhh, is that what it is? Lindsay will be fine and Arthur, Arthur, will, wait….who’s Arthur?
@In the ‘Jiz’: Why? Why the pick pick pick? Can you please just stop picking? It’s like watching a child with ADHD. Close you eyes, visualize cool water, and the large wave about to throw you over to break your back on the jagged rocks.
Thanks.
I was here about a months ago and notice the decline of commenters on this blog. That’s good to see. Maybe we can advance the human race now.
How cumbs no ones ever rips the Shrink apart? That chode is so full of shit and gloats to no end, it gives actual ’shit’…..a bad name!
Arthur? Do you have any Raid? Uuuhh, spray the screen!
Listen, Jiz et al. It’s the same crap every time when you attack another poster. We know you don’t care. So, if you don’t care, why comment or even give attention to the person you don’t care about. You, my little man, need help.
Possibly a case of Philly Mens Trual Syndrome. Go eat an ingrown toenail or something.
@In the Biz – I personally don’t care about your Spangle Dogs, but can you please continue hating on the dummy.
? ??? ? ???????? ????? ?????????? ? ??? ? ???????? ????? ??????????
All you folks need to get a life and stop. Alot of us have left and yes, I’m speaking for some of us at the Wig. There’s nothing here to see folks, go back to your 3 bedrooms homes, with your frumpy wives and your boring lives.
ATTENTION BLOG READERS: Arthur Kade is obviously a parody. There is no way he is a real person. I read the blog for its satirical value only. In the end, the joke is on all of you for believing that anyone could be as ridiculous as Lispy.
@Joe,
I don’t care if he’s a joke. I want to continue to tell him that he’s a joke. I want to be able to throw a boiled egg that has sat upon the windowsill for 2 weeks to gather that rich aroma of stank, just so when I see him on the street, I can lovingly hurl it at him. I want to see him hurt by someone. And I’m very shocked it hasn’t happened yet. All I can assume is men are pussies in Philly.
# Joe J.on 09 Mar 2010 at 2:37 pm
ATTENTION BLOG READERS: Arthur Kade is obviously a parody. There is no way he is a real person. I read the blog for its satirical value only. In the end, the joke is on all of you for believing that anyone could be as ridiculous as Lispy.
The sad part is that he isn’t a joke. A friend of mine was outside of bar a few weekends ago smokin a cig. She was approached by this bozo who began to tell her that he was famous, said I’m Arthur Kade, and asked for her number. She laughed in his face and he walked away.
Point is, no cameras were rolling and he was walking by himself. Either he’s very dedicated to this “act” or he’s just like this.
@Have
Why didn’t she throw her cig butt in his face? No cameras rolling right?
Why doesn’t somebody, anybody, everybody screeeeaam…….
Why doesn’t someone beat him? Not that it would make him take down this rediculous blog, but it just may detour him from being so pumpous.
I just don’t think anyone cares that much to find him an kick his ass. I dunno. It just doesn’t seem worth it. Cause I’m sure he gets his ass kicked, then calls the cops and presses charges. Then you lose your job etc. and end up just like AK. Who wants to deal with that?
So apparently, my manager heard of this blogsite and apparently, I gushed over this supposed guy, Arthur Kade.
Do you have any idea of how bright the lights are during a show? Who is this fool?
@*****,
Too easy.
Because ‘Shrink’ has issue with people who are less fortunate. It’s quite horrible that he would cut down a class of people because of where they live or what they do in order to survive. (Then again, ‘Shrink’ (claims) lives in Philthadelphia and some of the most fetid ilk come from there and the surrounding areas. That’s why once your out of there, you’re out. It’s almost like doing time. Only the strong will survive and never affiliate oneself again.)
Someone who lives and dies by an overpriced mobile phone (it’s vapid ‘perks’ and such) while castigating innocents should realize and enjoy the wealth they’ve ‘earned’, but remember to pay it forward and help others or Samsara will befall you. Heavy-handed irony.
Yeah, I get it that Arthur wanted a Vertu about a year ago and is still hanging on to his Blackberry, and that’s the reason behind the bloated bravado… it has nothing to do with being an inferior man with a superiority complex. Mmmyeah, well, ‘Shrink’ is inexorable. Period.
You think a guy like, Arthur Kade, comes this close to getting caught and sticks his head out? If he comes up for anything, it will be to get rid of me. After that… my guess is you’ll never hear from him again.
have you ever heard of a beatdown? who’s taking names and giving the pigs time to even get there? i wish someday he will meet his match and there will be no cameras, phones, or witnesses.
please don’t group all of Philadelphia into the same category as this asshole and his 8 friends. trust me, not everyone from Philly or the surrounding areas are like this clown. that’s why a lot of these “clubs” that he goes to are small, dark lounges with not a ton of people and overpriced bottles. its’ because the normal person knows better than to go there. and because that shits lame.
You know what’s really funny about this place? It’s one massive troll den where people routinely say some of the most horrible things imaginable to Arthur but as soon as somebody has one word to say about anyone else then it’s “omg the sky is falling… what a trolling asshole!”. The double standard is quite humorous and don’t kid yourselves that there isn’t one. Everyone that posts here is a troll.
I would hate to soil the sanctity of the Arthur Kade blog comments section with my vile and uncouth ways so, as already mentioned, I’ll leave you all to your perfect little playpen where you can hurl whatever insults you like at poor deluded fucked up Arthur. By the way, do your mothers know that you pick on the clinically insane because, after watching the Chatroulette clip, it’s clear to me that he is.
Jiz out!
“Everyone that posts here is a troll”
well no shit asshole. what else are you supposed to do. isn’t the point to respond to what dickhead wrote and then discuss “amongst yourselves?” if not, then please explain. i actually don’t care. my boss is out today. i’m abusing the internet right now.
@ HaveSome
You clearly have no grasp of what I’m saying but I wish you well! Have a nice day getting paid to fuck around.
In the Biz . . . where are you located? where do you live? what do you do?
Aw Jiz…. why don’t you yell downstairs to your mommy and ask her? You’re the worst troll of all, you diminutive reject. You know what MY mother would say about this guy, Arthur? She’d say he has potential to clean her pool and pick up her dog’s crap in a leopard thong.
Your paradoxically inept attempt at invading our epidermal region has failed. The whole ‘get a life’ zinger is hilarious. Lives are being had all over the world. Tragically, the three-bedroom-having, frumpy-wifing ‘bored’ are most likely not trolling the likes of the fire escape we got going here.
Wiggers unite! It’s a lawn-mowing symphony!
yea i really only read part of it, so you’re probably right. thanks dude. its been a pretty decent day so far. i’ll keep you posted.
this whole thing is a joke! He knows it, his friend’s know it, you should know it by now!
Best thing I heard though……you’re at Rouge Sunday and ask someone I know to bring one of my girlfriends over to your table. She didn’t go over there obviously but when she told me of this yesterday, she roled her eyes and we just laughed and laughed and laughed…..still brings a chuckle to our day! Thanks for the laugh Artie!!
@ Biz
I’m not trying to get under your skin anymore. I found our exchange a bit dull so I abandoned it. My last post was simply me stating the obvious about this place. You can carry on and hypocritically hurl D-grade insults at me if you like though. It really doesn’t bother me in the least and I probably would have welcomed it and even engaged you if they were decent but they weren’t.
I don’t know who In The ‘Ass’ is but please direct any future efforts towards them regarding the ‘get a life’ slight.
@havesome,
Sorry about that… no harm meant towards the exceptions, which I’m sure there are. Haven’t found any yet, but that’s just from me. Have a great day. Everyone deserves internetically cathartic relief occasionally!
Oh Jizzer… does your frenulum like the tickling sensation of your tail?
You aren’t deserving of decent repartee, I’m just relaxing. Battin’ at you with one paw.
I could care less who in the ass is… but thanks for pointing that out, because after going back to their comment, I got a good laugh. ‘us at the wig’… the lunatics have taken over the asylum. Looks like the guy who used to run it allowed one of his ‘clients’ to take it on as a ‘project’. Keeps him from eating heads of pigeons.
In the Biz – 2
In the Jiz – wet spot
all of this ranting between commenters and people seeing dumb cumb at Rouge still does not explain why someone hasn’t taken a shank to this dirtbag. If I would have been the girl who had the cigarette, yep, burn right to the face.
my word against his. so what.
@Biz, not Jiz –
Well, I’m quite confused because you don’t go on and on and on about your ‘doings’ in life, but yet you are attacked. If I cealrly ackowledge that you’re bragging, that’s your damn problem but the second you come out swinging just because you don’t necessarily think someone isn’t funny enough, then you bring the hammer down?
No.
We all have an intent, destroy Arthur and his blog.
What a bunch of fools you are!
!!! !!!!!! !!!! !!! !! !!! !!!!!!, !!!!!!! !!!!!!! !! ! !!!!!! !!!……!
Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time.
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. Like me.
I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.
I think Arthur is a super queen, posed as a straight man, trying so desperately to be funny.
I have a lot of work to do and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it; (all of them). Part of following this path for me is Buddism. Oh yeah, and trashy waitresses from poor family backgrounds.
Great stuff
I wanna be “Kaded”!
Arthur?
“Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.”
Is this true?
after seeing you on the kerri-ann show ive decided, you disgust me. you are not hot. girls do not find you attractive. you are extremely egocentric. i cant believe how critical you are of girls. i bet even the hottest australian girl would never, ever go for someone like you who is as shallow as you are. shame on you.